Fear VS Faith

Will You Live in Fear or by Faith?

As the subprime financial crisis smacked the world into fear and trembling, entire industries started to crumble: the financial industry, the real estate industry, and then the tech world and other sectors.

This doubt and uncertainty about whether we were going into a global depression as industries suddenly went on life support made everyone, including me, fearful of the uncertain future.

Fear infected the entire world. Much like the global pandemic did for everyone's health, this fear infected every heart with the fear of losing house, business, and wealth. With banks collapsing, people's savings and deposits were at risk. Wall Street shut down, and brilliant finance MBAs had nowhere to go for jobs.

I started emailing Harvard MBAs in early 2009 and offered them jobs at Reinvent. One of them was willing to come to Vancouver. Her name was Michele Zaitlyn. Then, at the last minute, she emailed to tell me she decided instead to start a business with her classmate, Matthew Prince. That business was CloudFlare. I wish I had been more curious and funded their startup idea. They are now both billionaires and have done a fantastic job of providing cybersecurity for Internet businesses. And Forbes has listed Michele as one of the world's richest self-made women in 2024.

My business peaked in 2007, and I saw the downtrend cycle happening all over the domain world. Fear started to slowly infect my heart, too.

I purchased my last $20 million domain portfolio in Dec 2007 and stopped buying domains.

Though I was alive, my heart stopped believing

As subprime continued into 2009, I decided to be prudent, go back to foundations, and reduce the size of the team to the essentials. It was the most difficult business decision I had to make. I decided to keep tech but downsize all other departments. I couldn't sleep or eat a single meal, and I felt heartbroken having to let so many of my team go, to let the dream of becoming a great company die.

I would often hug my children and cry inside.

As I addressed my team about our decision to let two-thirds of the team go, my voice trembled with sadness and care. Many came and tried to give me solace, saying they understood. Some were upset and disappointed.

Reflecting on this time, I realized that whatever I felt was ten times worse for those impacted by my decision. A part of me died that day. I felt it was time to leave business and return to my original passions: health and God. I had only planned to do business for three to six months back in 2000. It had now been nine years.

I made a cowardly and difficult decision to also part from my Director and mentor, Dr. Chris Hartnett. I took the easy way out and cut it off quickly, without an explanation, thanking him and giving him something for his heart and mentorship. It's a decision I regret immensely.

I asked three team members to take over the business, and I would start transitioning management to them: Rob, Mona, and Don.

I would move on to the next phase of my life. I would play the piano to console my soul and study the Bible more deeply to come closer to God.

A New Heart

I played Moonlight Sonata and Disney songs, as well as played and sang hymns. It helped me. I thought a lot about life.

As the days, weeks, and months passed, new ideas began to flood my heart like lightning.

Three dreams took hold of my heart.

1. Social commerce

2. Gospel Media Network

3. Three movies I envisioned

Read the rest of my story at Ham.com along with my life lessons then and now (only a few minutes more but I hope will help you in your life)